Opening night and other ramblings.

Panoramic photo by Crystal Ross

It's a few days after the opening reception of my show and I have the all so familiar feelings I get after all the excitement is over.  I am someone who always needs a project so after months and months of working towards making this exhibition happen I am now kind of projectless; for now. I get a bit of a post opening blues but don't get me wrong, it's nothing serious. It's almost like when an adrenaline-inducing roller coaster slowly comes to an end. Or like raising children and then sending them off into the world to see what happens. (ok, not actually, but I think you get the gist of the metaphor) It is both exciting and makes one vulnerable. I wouldn't trade any of this roller coaster though and will most definitely be doing it as long as I'm able.

The reception was wonderful and I am so fortunate to have support and interest in what I'm doing. I saw lots of familiar faces and had the opportunity to meet some new people who are very involved in the arts here. Sometimes a simple conversation can bring about some new ideas and I will be working on some new things very soon. The most important being revisiting the Barter Van concept and gearing it towards trading with artists of all genres instead of the general public who need to pay their bills and aren't necessarily interested in art. As much of a loner as I am I'm beginning to understand how important it is to have people to bounce ideas off of and I think interacting with creative people will make my next venture out all that much more inspiring. But more on that later.

One of my favorite things about my travels and this show is the stories other people tell me of their own past adventures or future plans. My choice to give up my belongings and comforts have inspired people to follow their own dreams. This, in particular, is a wonderful feeling since I have been inspired by so many myself. Sometimes I have to pinch myself. I'm still floored when someone likes what I've made enough to purchase it and have it in their lives. I don't think I will ever get used to that. It's surprising and flattering every time. There's nothing quite like actually living out your biggest dream. It can be done.

Next up in my plans is to put this hide-a-way house back to it's cozy self. I have to start packing up all my materials and load the van back up for this coming weekend when I will be moving in with some friends for a while. I'll be starting work with my sister's moving company and in my spare time revamping the barter van concept. I would love to get back on the road for June but I think that's quite optimistic. Even so, it's important for me to set a date and work towards it. Someone asked me at the reception if I'm panicked or worried about my future. The answer is no. You would think being homeless with an empty bank account would cause some panic but it doesn't. My answer is that I'm lucky enough to have the support of my friends and family and no matter what happens I won't end up on the street. That's all I need to know to have the confidence to keep pushing forward. Plus, I'm just getting started!!

It's time to get down to business.

I've been at my folks place in Florida for a week now and have begun editing my photos and putting together new works to send home to Argyle Fine Art. I am feeling very fortunate to be at a place in my 'career' where I have a gallery willing to take my art. It really is a dream come true.

When I first arrived I tried to dive head first into making new work. I tend to put unnecessary pressure on myself, especially when people have already paid for pieces I haven't actually made yet.  Well, as you can probably imagine, I had a bit of a panic attack. I can't expect myself to go from being on the move every day for three months to immediately churning out new work. So after taking a couple of days to run some errands, eat oranges from the trees out back and easing into staying put I am now back on track. I am getting some commissions done and there will be new stuff at Argyle for the Pre-Shrunk show in January.

Spending time organizing the hundreds and hundreds of photos I've taken isn't all business though. The past three months have all blended together and sorting through my pictures brings back memories I've already forgotten. I have lots of time for reflection and in a month will be back on the road. Before I left I assumed many things. I pictured myself foraging through the woods for greens to eat, camping by rivers or lakes for weeks on end and making extra money washing dishes or doing odd jobs. I have done none of these things. The romanticizing I did about this journey is just that, romantic and unrealistic. The realities of traveling are completely different, for me at least. Yes, I'm sure I could have done all of these things but it's not who I am. I think part of anyone's success in life is knowing who you really are and not who you want to be. I'm not the kind of person who feels comfortable walking into a place and asking for work. Larry the hitchhiker is. He has taken many little jobs along his way to keep going and is perfectly comfortable doing so. He would approach people for rides or ask for help and was almost always met with kindness. I admire what he's doing but, as I said, it's not me.

I've had to discover who I truly am, accept it and work within it. I am not someone who is going to walk across the continent. I don't want to sleep in a tent in the woods for weeks on end or rely on knowing what's edible in the forest. I want my perked coffee in the morning and a hot meal at night. I like my small creature comforts. It's hard for me to admit I'm not as worldly as I like to think I am. I know it's all relative and some would disagree with me. I guess what I'm trying to say is I now know what my limits are and what I'm comfortable with, even if it's not what I thought before I set out. No matter how well you think you know yourself there's always more to know and spending three months on the road by yourself will surely bring some new things to light.

Long highways make for deep thought

It's not always possible to avoid driving the interstates, unless you are driving something that can do back roads and dirt roads. If you've been following my trip you already know I can't go off-roading in my van or I have to dig myself out. Lately between destinations I have been driving long, straight highways that vanish far off on the horizon. Seventeen miles looks a lot further when you can actually see your destination on the flat landscape.

I love driving so I have that to my advantage, but even I get a little stir crazy when there's not much to see and the road goes on forever. One can only play drums on the steering wheel or have one-sided conversations with your dog for so many hours. So, I have a lot of time to think. Recently I have been contacted by a couple of magazines who want to do stories about my travels and the Barter Van. The questions they ask have given me lots to think about and reflect on. A common question is what has been my favorite experience so far. There's not one experience in particular that I like more than others. It comes down to the people I've met and how those interactions have helped shape my journey. I have always been a bit of a loner but without the social interaction and kindness of strangers it would be a completely different trip. I actually met someone once who told me they don't care about what other people do or think. I was kind of floored by that! I can't get enough of other peoples stories and have been accused of talking too much to cashiers and waitresses. I have been lucky to meet, and still be in touch with, so many wonderful individuals.

Time goes by so quickly. I can't believe I've been on the road for nine weeks already. It's a bit of a blur. In all my conversations everyone agrees that time goes by too quickly. When people ask why I finally made the decision I tell them it's about time. There's no telling I will make it to be elderly and there's no time like the present. I think I've always had this preoccupation with the passing of time and growing old. It's what propels me to do things now as opposed to waiting. I've had a number of emails and conversations with older people who commend me for doing what I'm doing and wishing they had. As much as I wish they had of too, selfishly it just reaffirms what I'm doing.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the bartering idea. The van starts conversations with people about bartering and it helps. I considered taking the magnets off until I've made some new pieces to trade and have a new way of approaching it but I like that it makes people ask questions. I still have a lot of questions myself about it but I haven't given up. As I watch my bank account dwindle I know I'm going to have to make it work. I'm just stubborn enough to make it happen.

So, I leave now to drive what's been described as one of the longest, straightest and most dull stretches of highway yet. I wish I could have an inner tape recorder to record my thoughts for further posts. I do my best thinking while staring at the lines on the road....

How's the bartering going?

When I was planning on setting out on this journey I did a lot of reading and researching on how people make money to keep on traveling. It is a necessary evil if you want to travel full time. Money runs out and I knew I would have to think about the practicalities of continuing on at some point.

Much of what I read talked about using your skills and interests to generate income. Being an art school grad my skills are all creative-based so I have to work with that. This is when I came up with the bartering idea. It was my intention to trade my art and photography skills for things I need, like food, showers, power hook-ups etc. It was quite naive and probably a bit egotistical of me to think the things I make or do are of value to other people, especially with the economy being the way it is. Apart from me leaving gifts for people who have let me stay with them, business owners and such need to feed their families and pay their bills, not get a postcard or a piece of art from a traveler wandering through.

I have had a few successful trades with people though, including a package of my postcards for a t-shirt from the American Sign Museum and another package for a room for the night in an old motel turned apartments. I attempted once to barter with a route 66 motel, photographing the place and then offering to make postcards for them to sell. I thought it would be a great way to have the luxury of a room every now and then while getting some of my work out there. Although the caretaker of the motel and I became friends, he wasn't interested in my proposal and we ended up talking more about the fact he had just lost his job and how tough times are. I think that was the moment I realized my naivete.

Another part of the problem with this idea is my shyness when selling my craft. Most artists, and this definitely includes me, are terrible at self-promotion. I hadn't thought through the idea of how to approach people or even what I was going to approach them with. Yes, I take photographs but not really ever of people so what was I planning on doing for them? I am someone who doesn't always think things through and tend to fly by the seat of my pants, with a logical head of course.

So, I am at a point where I need to re-evaluate the bartering idea or come up with another plan altogether. I'm not disheartened by any of this but reality is different than what I dreamed up before I hit the road. Suggestions are welcome.

Onwards and upwards!