Tuesday, November 13, 2012

What do I want?

Before I left home someone asked me what I hoped to get from this trip. At the time I think I said I wanted freedom and the time to be creative; to see what I'm made of.

After spending the night at the Big Thicket RV Park Okie and I went for a three hour walk in the Big Thicket National Preserve just north of Beaumont, Texas. I had been driving all day from Austin and really wanted a place to cook supper, have a shower and fall asleep. I found a pamphlet at the tourist bureau for this RV Park and decided to head for it, seeing as it would be close to our walk the next day. Well, this is one for the books. I found the place and as I drove in I noticed a lot of barbed wire around the office building, which was really their house. A small sign saying office lead me up the stairs to the front door. Arlene greeted me and I couldn't help but ask, why all the barbed wire? She said it was all forest there when they were building their house and people were stealing their supplies so they put up the fence. Then, in almost the same breath, she said it was there when they got there. I didn't press matters any further. I was too tired, hungry and dirty to care. She told me the showers haven't been open for a while so she'd have to open it for me. She very kindly swept the bugs out of the shower stall and I supplied my own toilet paper. What can I say? I live in a van, I have low standards!
Office surrounded by barbed wire.
 So, back to our morning walk. There was only one other car there when I arrived and I didn't run into the driver and his dog until we were on our way back to the van. We had three blissful hours to ourselves in the woods. It was so quiet. The morning air was chilly but it warmed up over the day. I absolutely LOVE going for walks/hikes with Okie off-leash. It makes for a much better time for both of us. She stays with me, either walking ahead or falling behind but always waiting or catching up. She stops when I do and waits for me to take my photos before continuing on.
Looking forward to seeing a swamp but the water left.

Okie waits for me to take photos.
I can't even express how happy that makes me. Recognizing that, I started to think about what else makes me happy. Would this give me the answer to what I want to get out of this?

So, number one is easy. I am happiest walking in the woods/trail with Okie, coffee in hand and camera on shoulder. I am happiest when I have the space and time to work on my art. I am happiest when I am traveling. I am happiest when I feel like I'm actively participating in my life instead of following routine and being a slave to my alarm clock. When I have finished this journey, if I finish, I want to be sure of what I want next. If I look at the happiest places in my mind I can see myself in a small house in the country, but close to a city, with a studio space, a couple of dogs and lots of nature to walk in. Oh, and the ability to travel when I need to find inspiration. Sounds ideal doesn't it?

If there's one thing I've learned it's that I can make things happen if I want them bad enough. There's nothing wrong with setting my sights on another goal (when I'm ready) that seems completely out of my reach. I didn't always believe I could pull this off but working towards it and making it reality has been a major accomplishment in my life. Hard work, sacrifice and patience is all I need.


  1. Angela, I like the way you sound right now; so confident and serene. You've made this happen, so you know you can do anything you set your mind to!

  2. Thanks Judy. A long quiet walk in the woods will make a person calm. I'd like to start every day like that.

  3. Hey Sis, we are so much more alike than we realize. I am at my happiest in the woods with the quiet and the birds and my dog, it is therapy for the soul. The meaning of living is pushing yourself forward and not listening to the "you can't" from others and "I can't" from yourself. I raise my coffee cup to you!! Love ya.

  4. Thanks sis! I feel exactly the same way. There's no satisfaction if there's nothing to work towards and the hardships just make it all the more worth while.