I follow a blog called the Art of Non-Conformity and one of the latest posts, 'worth it all', has me thinking. Judging from the comments after the post it would seem I'm not the only one with doubts. Author Chris Guillebeau writes about the internal struggle some of us have when we pursue a life that is out of the 'norm'. Is it worth going against the tide to achieve my goals? Do I really want to be out there, living on the road, more than anything else? The answer is always a resounding yes. Even on the bad, self-doubting days I'm still more scared to stay put than to follow my dreams.
Some days I wonder what I've gotten myself into. I've invested too much money in a trailer, don't have a car to pull it, nor do I have the funds to travel. I am a 38 year old with no equity and no retirement savings. I guess I don't plan that far ahead, although I'm told it's wise to. What if I don't get to retirement age? Where's the guarantee that if I work a 9-5, Monday to Friday and save for travel after retirement that I'll actually make it there? There isn't one. I remember a story I was told of a man who worked every winter, saved, and spent every summer traveling. People thought he was nuts for wasting all his money and not planning for retirement. He died in his 60's; before retiring. He spent almost half of every year doing what he wanted and not waiting till later. I know this is just one story but I hang onto it. I think a lot of us put things off till "later" and they never happen.
So, as my van becomes un-driveable, my camper renos become more overwhelming and the search for an affordable towing vehicle disheartening I keep my chin up and keep on plowing along. Because the alternative is to give up my dreams and I'm sure not ready to do that any time soon. I made it happen once and I can do it again dammit!